Saturday, November 7, 2009

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Here are some clues:


· Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of othe
· While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
· Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
· Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
· You have changed things about yourself to please them.



Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  And, they may not know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Sometimes it takes a little space.  Other times, it takes counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag the other person.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.TAKE ACTION NOW!


TO YOUR SUCCESS

Monday, November 2, 2009

Heartbroken Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back



If you’ve just been through a breakup, you’re probably wondering, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” at least several times a day.  Every relationship is different, so every break up is different.  But there are some things you can do to help get him back.

Be nice.

That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want.  It’s not.  If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from.  If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less.

The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away.  Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake.

If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway.  You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend.

If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now.  You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together.

You can’t change the past, but do remember that later when you’re back together.  Point it out to him, and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now.

Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?

This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship.  You’re part of the past, and not a priority.  Being nice right now is crucial.  You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?

No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—forget it now.  Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later.  What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?

It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on.  If you really feel the need to date, then do so if you need that to be happy.

But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you.  Games like this usually don’t work.  Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
sea testimonies here


TO YOUR SUCCESS